The
Feminine Face of Leadership ~ Bringing the Goddess to Work
By Helena Montelius
“She
was clearly the best man among them,” a British journalist
wrote about Margret Thatcher years ago, reporting from a
world summit of leaders where she was the only woman. I
don’t know Margret Thatcher personally; she may very
well be a doting grand mother who prunes the roses in her
garden and asks her husband to “go slower” when
they make love. But she has become the ultimate symbol of
everything women don’t want to be in the twenty-first
century; hard, competitive and forceful; trying to prove
that we can be as good as any man. As women today, we are
realizing we don’t want to be as good as any man;
we want to be ourselves and bring our unique feminine qualities
into the world instead.
We are
beginning to take our place as leaders, initiators and teachers
while keeping our sensitivity, intuition and deeply feeling
heart that cares for all living beings. We bring Aphrodite
(Greek Goddess of sensuality and love) and Quan Yin (universal
mother of compassion) to the work place, as well as Kali
(fierce Goddess of death and rebirth) to cut through delusions
and speak up for human values and truth.
Women
are stepping out of the male box and applying their own
creative, non-linear and sensual way of doing things. A
female lead board meeting may happen while the board members
give each other a foot massage. Women bring candles, scented
oils and their yoga mats to work like never before, they
run home based business while the children play on the office
floor and they do business in a way that reflects their
care for all living beings and the earth. Women make money
by doing what feels true to them, following their intuition
and inner guidance, not worrying so much about “the
market” or trends.
Margaret
Heffernan, author of How She Does It: How Women Entrepreneurs
are Changing the Rules of Business Success, says sometimes
women are leaving big companies and starting their own out
of desperation. “It’s because they feel that,
as women, their individuality is slowly dying. They come
to a point where they don’t recognize themselves.
And so they leave to retrieve their true self, to get back
the values, the talents, the energy they used to have and
which, somehow, got dissipated by the struggle to fit into
very male cultures.”
Other
women choose to stay in large corporations and working on
changing things from the inside out. And many companies
are picking up the feminine values and offer yoga, meditation,
massage, communication skill classes and team building activities
for their employees. As a whole we are beginning to understand
that we not only want to reach our goals, we actually want
to enjoy the process of getting there. We don’t want
to be drained, overwhelmed and exhausted, practically dead
to reach our deadlines. (Can someone please come up with
a better word?)
Author
Anna Quindlen said, ”We are at a moment of synthesis,
of balance, a middle ground. And that is the point at which
we realize that work, influence, even power with no countervailing
forces, no intimacy, no family, no sense of connection to
others, is for many of us no kind of life at all.”
Men
more easily disconnect from their heart and emotions, enduring
lots of stress, only focusing on the goals and visions in
their heads as they sit through another flight to another
meeting. A woman sitting on the same plane, on the way to
the same sales meeting, feels the stress in her body, the
inner pressure, the long nights away from the children,
not to mention the lack of time for slow, sensual lovemaking,
and she complains loudly: “This doesn’t feeeel
good to me, I want a less stressed schedule.”
The
gift of feminine complaining (yes, it has a gift!) is that
it speaks the voice of the body, the heart and of the experience
in the moment. It honors the aching back and the emptiness
and lack of true joy that comes with too much stress. It
speaks up for the inner child and all our real children
waiting to have mom and dads attention. Today. Now.
What
is the big rush anyway, women wonder. Why does everything
have to be done so fast? Can’t we all slow down a
little and smell the roses? We will all reach our final
deadline soon enough. The feminine likes to allow room for
things to grow organically, in tune with the earth, and
let things to happen on their own. Trusting that after a
clear intention has been set and the appropriate actions
have been taken you can take a break for a while and let
things unfold. Then you move into action again when the
next wave of creativity arises from within. When there is
a constant push forward and action without introspection
you often lose your balance.
Women
are slowly proving that the feminine way is not only a healthier
and more fun way to go about life, but in the long run also
more profitable. Catalyst in New York, a leading research
and advisory organization, released a study done during
1996-2000, which showed that companies with the largest
percentage of women in leading positions had a 35% higher
profit. And Oprah, the uber queen of feminine leadership,
who says, “Power is the ability to impact with purpose,”
certainly seems to be doing well financially.
Oprah's
vision of power highlights another important feminine value;
there needs to be higher purpose, besides profit, to what
we are doing. A higher inspiration that will create benefit
and value not only for the customers of the company but
also for the greater whole. Women hold the whole earth and
all it’s living beings in their heart, especially
after their own children are grown and they have more energy
to direct towards the larger earth family. In the old Cherokee
tribes no decision the chiefs made could be implemented
without passing the approval of the grandmother’s
counsel. Imagine how the world would be different if every
government had a grand mother’s counsel!
What
can a woman today do to keep her feminine energy and values
intact as she enters a male work place?
I spoke
to Michele Barry, who is a Project Manager for a Commercial
Development Company in Larkspur and a member of the Bay
Area Temple Group. She manages commercial building projects,
in a predominantly male business.
-
Just go for it! My own feminine has been suppressed for
so long, it needed to be expressed. For me wearing jewelry
and make up and soft colors and feminine clothes was a
way to be in touch with that part of myself. I use to
try to be androgynous, dressing in black, navy and grey.
Let your feminine heart show. I love to be true to myself
and I show it. I also like to protect my sensitivity.
- So, when I enter the office I imagine that I have a
protective aura of liquid steel around me, liquid so that
it is flexible and steel so that it is impenetrable. I
don’t want to take on other people’s projections
& expectations. I just want to stay in my own energy
and I practice sending unwanted energy back to its origin
in pure love.”
Michelle
is an in-your-face feminine woman with round curves; red
lips and a Kali cat look in her eyes.
“Some
men who have unresolved issues with the feminine may be
uncomfortable with me, but it is time for the healing to
begin. We are not doing anyone a favor by suppressing the
feminine. Ultimately we are all just longing to be ourselves
and to be present with each other,” advices Michele.
Johanna,
a friend of mine, who works in an all male computer business
shared that she takes five minute “Goddess brakes”
in the bathroom a couple of times each day.
“I
close my eyes, move my hips and the rest of my body in a
soft sensual way. I massage my breasts just to feel that,
yes, I am still a woman. Sometimes a “Goddess Body
Rinse” gets me out of my head and into my feminine
essence again: you let your hands slowly flow down your
body, starting at the top of your head, down your face,
chest and belly and then all the way down to your feet.
Then I sit on the toilet seat and breathe deeply for a few
minutes before I return to my desk.”
“Self-esteem
and self worth is often an issue for women, in general and
in entering a male dominated business, says a sister in
my woman’s Temple group, who worked many years in
corporate America before becoming a full-time mom. “Women
need to do their own inner healing work and not expect the
men to give them approval in order to feel good. Instead
of walking into the office radiating insecurity women need
to carry themselves with a quiet knowing of their innate
values and gifts. Staying in touch with their hearts and
yet be centered in their inner wisdom. The support of a
women’s circle is invaluable for this.”
The
world is crying out for true leadership instead of the old
boss concept. A leader transmits a vision that inspires
co-workers to do their best and allow room for everyone’s
unique gifts to come forth, naturally extinguishing competition.
A leader is hardly noticed, elegantly leading without ego
show-off, and when the job or project is completed everyone
is happy, saying it happened by itself. This is the way
of the feminine, the way of the heart and the way of a future
balance between the masculine and feminine.
More resources and information:
www.catalystwomen.org
www.yesyesyes.com
www.wildlove.org
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